30th Chaos Communication Congress – My first

30C3 logo
30C3 logo

After three years having to listen to other people’s stories at the whitespace about how awesome their trip to the CCC event was, it’s finally time!
As opposed to other years, I have no other obligations, and bought a ticket! Booya!

I’ll be in Hamburg from the 26th, so if someone feels like going for a beer together, ping me 🙂

The ‘Fahrplan’ has yet to be completed as I type this. But I couldn’t resist taking a peak and trying to put a personal schedule together.
As it seems, you’ll most likely find me somewhere at the “Security & Safety” or “Hardware & making” tracks…
Continue reading 30th Chaos Communication Congress – My first

Poetry from a stubborn young me

When I was in secondary school, French was not my favorite course.
I failed almost every single french test.
Not due to french being hard, because it really is not, but because I refused to study.
As I was quite a stubborn little brad, all methods to force me to study failed (big time).
As a last resort, my (awesome) mom threw in a deal:
If I was to pass my french exam, I could go on some cool trips during the vacation following that exam-period.
If I was to fail my french exam, I would have to participate in french language courses instead.
Long story short, it turned out: Me going to a lot of french language courses over these years.

During one of these courses, we had to write a poem… in french.
At that time, this young (±14y-old) stubborn little fellow, still not willing to put a lot of effort into whatever cruel french-teaching tactics they would force on him.
We had to write a poem about love, in one hour, and I didn’t want to do it.
I just wrote down what came up in my head at that time.

Reading this poem again after all these years, I think it is marvelous.

Je n’ai pas envie d’ecrire un poème
Le sujet?
Ce n’est pas la mème

On doit écrire sur l’amour
Pendant un seul cours

Ce n’est pas pratique
Parce que je sais rien
De la romantique!

De weg kwijt

Ok the internet is a copy machine. And I’m here to expand it…
First, the dutch version followed by  the english translation.

De weg kwijt…

Een man vliegt in een heteluchtballon boven het land en beseft dat hij verdwaald is.
Hij ziet beneden een man lopen en daalt tot hij binnen gehoorafstand is…
“Neem me niet kwalijk,” roept hij, “Kunt u mij misschien helpen? Ik heb mijn vriend beloofd hem een half uur geleden ergens te ontmoeten, maar ik weet niet waar ik ben!”

De man beneden antwoordt: “Ja. U bent in een heteluchtballon en zweeft ongeveer 10 meter boven de grond. U bevindt zich tussen de 40 en 42 graden noorderbreedte en tussen de 58 en 60 graden westerlengte.”
“U bent zeker een Systeem Beheerder” zegt de man in de heteluchtballon. “Inderdaad” zegt de ander, “maar hoe weet u dat?”
“Nou”, zegt de man in de ballon: “alles wat u zegt is technisch gesproken juist, maar ik heb helemaal niets aan die informatie. En al met al ben ik nog steeds verdwaald.”

De man op de grond kijkt peinzend omhoog en zegt: “U bent zeker manager?” “Dat klopt”, zegt de man in de ballon: “maar hoe weet u dat?” “Eenvoudig. U heeft geen idee waar u bent. U weet al helemaal niet waar u naartoe gaat. U heeft iets beloofd terwijl u geen idee heeft hoe u die belofte moet waarmaken en u verwacht van mij dat ik uw probleem oplos. U verkeert nog steeds in dezelfde positie als voor wij elkaar ontmoetten, maar op een of andere manier is het nu ineens mijn schuld.”


A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: “Excuse me, can you help me?” I promised my friend I would meet him somewhere, half an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”
The man below says: “Yes, you’re in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field. You are located between the 40°N and 42°N and between the 58°W and 60°W.”
You must be a SysAdmin” says the balloonist.
“I am” replies the man. “How did you know.”
“Well,” says the balloonist, “everything you have told me is technically correct, but it’s no use to me. I’m still lost.”
The man below says “you must be in management.”
“I am” replies the balloonist, “but how did you know?”
“Well,” says the man, “you don’t know where you are, or where you’re going. You made a promise you din’t know how to meet, but you expect me to fix it. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault.”
I was pointed to this gem by wonko. So my copy cam from this copy.

The winner of this years April Fools Day is IBM

Did you notice… April Fool’s Day has passed by.
As usual, jokes were ranging from buttard-lame to ĂĽber-fluffy-rainbow-unicorn mighty.

A lot from Google’s jokes this year were great, but they’re all expected and bringing no surprise at all.
I think the one below was the most funny one from them.

My all-round favorite from 2012 goes out to the IBM Linux kerel developers.
They announced a new patch that would rock your socks off…
From this patch on, Linux would no longer need a CPU.
To be honest… for a second I went: What? Crazy… but then it did hit me… in the face!

Read all about it in this article at Phronix

Time Wasters – Part2

Well, this is part 2 of a series of time wasting websites I started here.

In what year will the earth seize to exist? – Pick a date.

You know them, the movies and books about the end of time…
But do you know all references? This website lists them out for you so you can just pick a date as you please 🙂


Play Rock-Paper-Scissors against AI

Ever wondered how good you are in the game rock-paper-scissors?
Test your skills and go against a well trained computer-bot (Artificial Intelligence)


Barbie gone bad!

Barbie has always been the perfect blonde… Or that’s what the company wanted you to believe.
Here are the unseen and uncensored pictures of this young blonde girl gone wrong. Well I wonder how much hit’s I get on this previous sentence. 🙂


Do nothing for 2 minutes

Would you want/need to spend 2 minutes doing nothing?
This site can be used as a relaxing tool to help you succeed doing absolutely nothing.


Stuff On My Cat

A website full of images from cats with stuff on them.
No, not a cheeseburger…
Be careful… there are quite a lot of times you can press “next”.